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Thursday, September 28, 2006










i don't care wot others say, theres only one life we have and i am living it right now... :]

anonymous whoever u ar, i dun blame u coz tis is a free world but at least tell me wot do u mean by ur gone...


SAY SAY SAY! HOOOOOOO!.
1:29 AM

Sunday, September 24, 2006

today marks the day of the beginning of a test for my patience... i am replying on alot of stuffs to keep me goin... like "danieta senorita" n ur picture most imptly, gotta work on report and make sure i do well so as u wun worry too much, i wish u all the best over there, peace no war~~~ love u...

---kelvin---


SAY SAY SAY! HOOOOOOO!.
8:40 PM

Monday, September 18, 2006

New beginning, reckon its gona be good.. :)

please take care when u leave... will always miss u...


SAY SAY SAY! HOOOOOOO!.
4:00 PM

Saturday, September 16, 2006

KNOW wot i did the past awakeness? i woke up yesterday and do things as per normal... went for dressin durin the day and chill out... in the evening, i went over to an invited party for old sec school mates... saw dramatic changes on all my friends man! all like got license and everythin... ahyo.. unbelievable.. it was a great catch up to do.. my wound's kind of healing so i took extra care of it while i am outside... haha and guess wot.. fandi, my good ncc buddy from sec school, lopang me on his honda bike hahahaha song bo.. i didnt tell my parents coz if i do they'll kill me... he lopang me all the way to christie's place at 2340hours... i was supposed to stay over night at her place to hang out wif timmy and kelly as well... promised them i'll be there early but end up during midnight... haha... well tat night was fun... we hanged out ... watch movies.. and halfway timmy and kelly just knocked out leavin me and chris to watch "waiting", damn stupid show... its hilarious... haa, yea then in the morning.. around 6am
the 2 sleepyheads woke up and they decided to watch "The Shining", its like omg laa... the screen shot from the show twister i rmbred is tat freakin show!!! %@$^#&#$^& i was as usual.. being the scared one.. hide behind christie and kelly... i noe they bth me also la but i really cant help it... its scary shit.... well... after tat we hav to leave kinda coz of me haha coz i need to go dressing again... and today's half day till 12 noon nia... so yea.. long 2 days ar... nvr really sleep except in the afternoon, just a while only... oh well, its been relieving somewhat, glad i occupy myself over heavy thoughts... its a good thing... but then again, i'll still end up alone at night gettin ready to sleep and i think bout those thoughts all over again... it sucks but its life... well... for now, i am just worried bout my wound coz its really depressing, training wif the team for so long and i cant play for school this year... my cycling "plan" is sorted out and i cant carry it out, my running for this year's marathon will also be jeopardise... its all coz of what? my open wound... just amazing laa... everyday i live tis life..everytime i wake up... i feel like shit.. i feel like i've accomplish nth... someone really made tat worst too and it just sucks.. but i gotta deal wif it... and tats wot i am STILL doing/figuring out... well i'll try... i'll tryy... peace no war~

do u think its possible?


SAY SAY SAY! HOOOOOOO!.
9:42 AM

Thursday, September 14, 2006

I FEEL LIKE THIS...

What have I done?
Where have I come from?
When I burnt the backs with the sun through a glass did I seal the loss that's become me?
Feeling undone
What have I become?
When I turned my back on you I turned my back on myself andbecame this machine
Thoughtlessness
(I feel)Selfishness
(I feel)Hopelessness
(I feel)Arrogant
I feel it on the inside
Twisting and contorting
Memory has shaped me once again
Still feel you on the inside
Biting through and stinging
Will I ever forget to remember?
Shadows in the sun
Filter through us
Still wrestle the demons that arrested me as a child
Confession rejected
We grow up
To give up
People step on the cracks for wounds owed paid back
Through the words of surrender
Emptiness
(I feel)Loneliness
(I feel)Listlessness
(I feel)Worthless
I feel it on the inside
Twisting and contorting
Memory has shaped me once again
Still feel you on the inside
Biting through and stinging
Will I ever forget to remember?
Can you save me?
From myself
From these memories
Can you save me?
From myself
From these memories
Surrender
To the shadows
Haunting inside
Bleed through you
Surrender to the secretes...inside
Lies within you
I feel it on the inside
Twisting and contorting
Memory has shaped me once again
Still feel you on the inside
Biting through and stinging
Will I ever forget to remember?
Can't feel you on the inside
Set down the bag and left it
Lost memory has left me
One again
Open up the inside
Admission for the cleansing
Now that I've forgotten to remember
Surrender
To the shadows
Haunting inside
Bleed through you

lyrics from Mudvayne - Forget To Remember


SAY SAY SAY! HOOOOOOO!.
9:39 AM

Tuesday, September 12, 2006


Jialat, theres a hole on my body... JIALAT AR!!!!


SAY SAY SAY! HOOOOOOO!.
1:48 AM

Friday, September 08, 2006

god... time to open ur yahwee mail.. if ur there, could u answer me this? am i so invaluable to u? have u ever look upon me? be fair to me? or r u doin tis to me for a reason?

yours sincerely
kelvin


SAY SAY SAY! HOOOOOOO!.
9:42 AM

Friday, September 01, 2006

i lay on my bed almost physically-disabled... no sports no nth, the operation's wound is like a swollen scar mini like tennis ball on my abdominal.. i feel pain outside as well as inside... project's unhealthy, body not good to go, heart shattered, god... wot am i gona do???

i'm tired of being what you want me to be feeling so faithless lost under the surface i don't know what you're expecting of me put under the pressure of walking in your shoes [caught in the undertow / just caught in the undertow] every step that i take is another mistake to you i've become so numb i can't feel you there become so tired so much more aware i'm becoming this all i want to do is be more like me and be less like you can't you see that you're smothering me holding too tightly afraid to lose control cause everything that you thought i would be has fallen apart right in front of you [caught in the undertow / just caught in the undertow] every step that i take is another mistake to you [caught in the undertow / just caught in the undertow] and every second i waste is more than i can take but i know i may end up failing too but i know you were just like me with someone disappointed in you

numb-linkinpark



SAY SAY SAY! HOOOOOOO!.
7:23 AM